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CATEGORY : WEDDING TROUSSEAU
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Query from: anil, india, 04/01/08
Topic: WEDDING TROUSSEAU      Submitted on: Ammas.com
Subject: can love marriage replace dowry system

can love marriage replace dowry system?

Rate = 2.5 (Rated by 8 Council Members)
[ This query closed ]
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Response from: Latha Jayaprakash,   
Council Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Dear Anil,

I don't think so. There are many love marriages which are accepted and performed as arranged marriages. But still there are incidents of dowry problem. After one or two years the families get together, the son comes back home and the mother starts commenting on the lack of materials in the house or the parents have not given them anything.. like that. Only if the love marriages take place and the couple live separately can the girl be happy without dowry menace. All the best

Rate = 2.5 (Rated by 7 Council Members)

 
Response from: Indumukhi A.,   
Council Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Unfortunately, in contemporary society I have noticed that dowry seems to be persistent despite wealth, women in the workforce, education, and how the marriage comes to be (whether love, arranged, or some combination of the two).

I have also seen in some cases of love marriage that part of convincing the boy's family means more compromises on the bride's part, one of which is dowry.

So I think it is a mistake to think that just because dowry and arranged marriage came together in the past that love marriage is conquering dowry. Sadly. But have you seen cases in your own experience that would suggest that there is less likely to be dowry where love is involved but both families agree to the marriage?

Rate = 2.5 (Rated by 7 Council Members)

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Response from: NEERAJA NAVEEN,   
Council Member on Ask Agent
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
First of all we have to see what are the causes of Dowry system.This is a heriditary system coming fron the ages in INDIAN culture.The definition of the dowry is Historically, dowry has been an integral and institutionalized aspect of traditional arranged Hindu marriage. Over hundreds of years, however, the definition of the termhas evolved from the ceremonial and voluntary gift giving of the bride’s family to a form of monetary extortion demanded by the groom’s family.

One of the main cause of the dowry is in India it is a traditional that woman should marry at the age of 18-21.After that she will become not eligible for the marriage.Off course now it may not be there.But I believe that the parents of woman might have fear in those days of the above cause.So they started buying the bride grooms.And so was the dowry system.

Another reason could be imbalance of men and woman ratio.

The remedies for Dowry system could be as follows :

This can only be accomplished through a fundamental shift in Indian socialattitudes about both marriage and women. Perceptions about appropriate roles for women must evolve to include education and employment, the current requirement that brides surrender all future assets to in-laws must be changed so that parents can depend on daughters as well as sons in their old age, and finally, the government must undertake sustained action to prevent employment and wage discrimination against women in the labor market. Unfortunately, there is an enormous period of lag time between the time when calls for social change are actually made and the time when societal beliefs and customs actually begin to transform. Today, dowry continues to be a socially accepted and rational outcome of the current Indian marriage market. True progress in the elimination of the dowry system will only come through endeavors to create awareness among Indian communities about the negative effects of dowry, through programs and government sanctions that endorse education and employment for women of all ages, and through a fundamental change in the attitudes of Indian peoples.

Rate = 3 (Rated by 6 Council Members)

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Response from: Arun Annamalai,   
Featured Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Hi,

Love marriages may replace dowry system. But, that will ruin our culture. It may be harsh to hear, but is the fact. Both the partners have a culture and heritage on their background, but both the cultures are being buried. What will happen to the future generation, if the same thing continues. The western people have learned values from us and are trying to follow it.

Some years latter we people from India will be going to US or UK to learn Ayurveda or meditation or yoga or Indian culture. It has value after it goes to other countries. We recognise its values. Where have gone all the nuclear families. Management starts from that family. Once that is broken you go to US to learn management there.

When dowry system was there they had been many initial problems, but, now what is the rate of divorces in the courts. What is the reason. Just think over.

I would say love marriage has both advantages and disadvantages. My opinion is it has more disadvantages in the long run. Think over.

Rate = 2.5 (Rated by 6 Council Members)

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Response from: vijay qamra,   
Featured Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Hi anil,Love marriages can not replace dowry system. Because if you love someone the issue of dowry can be discussed.Giving or accepting dowry is a very good tradition which should not be misused. both the parties should discuss it. It is the parents' wish to give some gifts and some commodities to start the married life and enjoy the things given by parents as a parting gift. The daughter is going to another family for good to join another family. This way the girls can cherish the old memories in times of loneliness.They are also a help.What is wrong with the system is the buying of capable and very suitable boys which is absolutely wrong on girl's parents part and the boy or the parents should respect whatever he gets but not get greedy in the name of customs. Think that if the boy or the parents do not have the things they want from girls side then how can the girls parents afford it .Money in cash should be given on the same basis is to start family life. gifts are always given and taken . they don't have to be commented upon. Even in love marriage you need all the things. Don't be greedy ,that's all.

Rate = 2 (Rated by 5 Council Members)

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Response from: Kumari ajita,   
Council Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Anil Love marriage and dowry are two different topics. Not all love end in a dowry-less marriage.there are combinations: Love marriage with consent of elders which culminates in arranged-marriage could be with dowry or without dowry, Love marriage with only the couple involved end in marriage without dowry.In my understanding dowry system can never be replaced by love marriage until and unless there is some kind of mutual understanding between all parties (if any) involved...which would mean, the in-laws, the marriageable couple etc and this happens only when love-arranged-marriages take place. In situations where there is love but no parents-arranged marriages, automatically it is only the couple involved and in such cases its mostly dowry-less marriages!Hope you got me.....

Rate = 2.5 (Rated by 2 Council Members)

 
 
 
 
 
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