Tips to Choose a Marriage Counselor

When seeking a marriage counselor or therapist, it is important that the couple view themselves as a consumer of a product. The couple needs to feel in control of the process and view themselves just as they would, if they were purchasing a car. The process involves careful research, consideration and consultation.

One of the first steps in seeking counseling is to decide as a couple if you would prefer a male or female therapist or marriage counselor. This will narrow down the selection process and the couple can proceed from there.

It is imperative that the couple inquires or asks the therapist or counselor the following before starting on the therapeutic process. Sample questions are:

Counseling fees: How much does each session run? Are there any discounts possible? Are insurance reimbursements possible? Inquire about the counselor's training: How long have they been in practice? What experience do they have in working with couples? (refer to the Types of Therapists article below for a description of therapist's backgrounds) What type of therapeutic style do they employ? (read on for a description of therapeutic styles and modalities) Ask about the therapist’s license: not all states mandate that therapists hold a license, and one can always confirm a license by contacting the State Board of Licensing and/or Certification for that field of practice. If the therapist does hold a license, make sure that license is up to date and that the therapist is not sanctioned in any way. Inquire as to the counselor’s cancellation policies. Both partners seeking marriage counseling need to feel comfortable with the counselor or therapist that they have selected. If one partner is reluctant to pursue therapy with a particular therapist, it is important that the couple find someone else.

Therapeutic Styles/ Modalities

There is no one type of therapy that is the best or most effective. It depends on each person's individual needs and the wishes of the couple.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy/ Ego Psychology

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Solution Based Therapy

Structural Therapy

Systems Theory

The Feminist Approach to Therapy Feminist clinical approach encompasses a diversity of treatment interventions.

1)Chitra Subramaniam , Ph.D. Marriage and Family therapist. Works extensively with gay and MSM clients along with Humsafar Trust in the areas of sexual distress, sensitising on gay issues, pre- and post- HIV test counseling. Phone 444-5647

2)Najma M. Adam, MSW, Ph.D. Assistant Professor in the School of Social Work, Normal, Illinois. Specializes in Services to Abused Indian/Pakistani Women. Dissertation on: Domestic Violence Against Women Within Immigrant Indian and Pakistani Communities in the United States. Over 10 years of experience in Social Work. Email nadam@ilstu.edu.

3)Madhu Sarin, Ph.D., CSW. Psychoanalyst/psychotherapist of Indian origin working in Manhattan. Has Institute training (IPTAR, member of the International Psychoanalytical Association). Works with individuals, families and couples of diverse backgrounds and orientation, including gay and lesbian people from South East Asia. 915 Westend Avenue (at corner of 105th Street) Suite 5 F, New York, NY 10025. Phone (212) 531-3965.

4)A. K. Jayasree, MBBS, MSc, MD General Physician, trained in counseling. Provides individual & couple therapy. She is a volunteer counselor at THRANI and founding member of Foundation for Integrated Research in Mental Health, India. Specialized in dealing with female survivors of abuse, sexual and physical trauma, issues pertaining to gay/lesbian/bisexual clients and human rights, domestic violence, women's issues, and multicultural issues. Contact: jayasree@vsnl.com Phone ++91-471-2300333 or ++91-471-2300334. Consultation with prior appointment only

(Rated by 8 Council Members)