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Query from: Srik, India, 12/20/10
Topic: GENERAL CULTURES AND GROUPS      Submitted on: Ammas.com
Subject: Hello

I am a Reddy and My GF is Ling...

Hello

I am a Reddy and My GF is Lingayat. Both our parents are not happy with the marriage. I also came to know that when ppl with different castes get married then there are issues with customs to be followed during the marriage. So, I was looking for a platform where we both can be married with out hassles of the customs. Arya Samaj is one good platform. But Arya Samaj performs marriage based on Vedic traditions. But Lingayats do not believe in Vedic Traditions. So is there any other platform (apart from registered marriage) which will be amicable for both of our families?

Rate = 3.5 (Rated by 2 Council Members)
[ This query closed ]
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Response from: jeshma Mohandas,   
Registered Member on Ammas.com
Source: http://www.thebrahmosamaj.net/litur…
this method have no vedic rituals.Vivaha or Marriage Ceremony: The following liturgy for the Vivaha or Marriage Ceremony has been taken from the Manual of Brahmo Rituals and Devotions by Sitanath Tattwabhushan.The book was first published in 1924 with its second edition in 1971 by the Sadharan Brahmo Samaj.The language is archaeic and can be suitably modified keeping in mind with the occassion and times.As Brahmo marriages are usually registered under Special Marriage Act, a notice of the marriage in the form laid down by the Act, and signed by both the parties, is sent to the Marriage Registrar at least 30 days before the day fixed for the celebration of the marriage. On the day the notice is signed, or on a previous date, a Vagdan or Engagement ceremony takes place in some cases.It is intended to inaugurate a period of preparation for taking the solemn vow of matrimony.It is usually a short ceremony consisting of a prayer like the following preceded and followed by a hymn:As Brahmo marriages are usually registered under Special Marriage Act, a notice of the marriage in the form laid down by the Act, and signed by both the parties, is sent to the Marriage Registrar at least 30 days before the day fixed for the celebration of the marriage. On the day the notice is signed, or on a previous date, a Vagdan or Engagement ceremony takes place in some cases.It is intended to inaugurate a period of preparation for taking the solemn vow of matrimony. It is usually a short ceremony consisting of a prayer like the following preceded and followed by a hymn:As Brahmo marriages are usually registered under Special Marriage Act, a notice of the marriage in the form laid down by the Act, and signed by both the parties, is sent to the Marriage Registrar at least 30 days before the day fixed for the celebration of the marriage. On the day the notice is signed, or on a previous date, a Vagdan or Engagement ceremony takes place in some cases.It is intended to inaugurate a period of preparation for taking the solemn vow of matrimony. It is usually a short ceremony consisting of a prayer like the following preceded and followed by a hymn:O God of love, Thou Searcher and Inner Ruler of our hearts, thou hast drawn together the hearts of these thy children and thou seest the intentions they have formed. Impress upon them the solemnity of the vow they are going to take. Help them in searching their hearts, in cherishing pure desires and motives, in feeling the responsibilities of the life they are going to enter, and in laying down plans for the conduct of that life.Enable them to feel the difficulties before them and humbly to trust in thee for counsel and guidance. Save them from all kinds of fickleness, and enable them to proceed with calmness and firm determination in the path they have chosen.Reveal thyself as the aim and object of their lives and help them to take every serious step in life in the light of this truth."In the morning of the day fixed for the marriage, divine service takes place separately in the houses of the bride and the bridegroom for preparing their minds for the actual ceremony.In the course of this service, the ancestors of the parties are remembered and their blessings on the marrage asked for.Before the commencement of the actual ceremony the preliminary portion of the registration is gone through in the presence of the Registrar, three witnesses, and (in case the parties are minors) the guardians of the bride and the bridegroom. This usually takes place in a room or spot other than that fixed for the actual ceremony.In the place fixed for the ceremony, the bride and the bridegroom sit facing each other in front of the minister's vedi (dias).The guardians of the parties, the Registrar and the witnesses occupy seats near them. After a hymn the bride's guardian stands up and says to the assembled guests:"Sriman (Mr.)..having expressed a desire to marry my ..Srimati (Ms.) I knowing her consent to the marriage, present her to you all and most respectfully ask you to help in the performance of the ceremony and say "Svasti" (all right)."The guests say "Svasti."The bridgroom's guardian then says:"Srimati (Ms.) having expressed a desire to marry my Sriman (Mr.) I, knowing his consent to the marriage, present him to you all and ask you most respectfully to help in the performance of the ceremony and say "Svasti."The guests say "Svasti."Then the minister says to the bridegoom:"Sriman (Mr.).in the presence of the all-seeing and all-holy God and of these fellow-believers of yours, have you made up your mind to accept Srimati (Ms.) as your lawful wife, and take upon you the duties and responsibilities of a faithful husband?"The bridegroom says, "I have so made up my mind."The minister to the bride:"Srimati (Ms.)in the presence of the all-seeing and all-holy God and of these fellow-believers of yours, have you made up your mind to accept Sriman (Mr.) as your lawful hisband, and take upon you the duties and responsibilities of a faithful wife?"The bride says, "I have so made up my mind."After a second hymn the minister conducts the usual invocation and adoration with special reference to the ceremony, or he substitutes a short service like the following:"O thou all-pervading and all seeing Being, thou art present within and without us as the witness and presiding deity of this solemn ceremony.It is thou who hast drawn together the hearts of these two children of thine and manifested a particle of thy infinite love as the bond of the union thou art going to effect. We give our hearts' deepest gratitude to thee for having removed all obstacles to this holy union and enabled us to bring these two souls at thy feet. It is thy love and the light of thy holiness that have guided them so far and will ever guide them through the trials and difficulties of the life that lies before them. It is thou that art the object and goal of our life and it is as a help to union with thee that thou art bringing about this union of souls. We consecrate ourselves to thee and seek thy blessing and inspiration in tying this holy knot."The minister then joins the right hands of. the parties and twines a garland of flowers round them.The bridegroom then says:"This day, the day of the month of in the year the day after the full (or new) moon, the day of the week, I, in the presence of the all-seeing and all-holy God and of the friends and fellow-"An essential condition of the realisation of the ideal marriage is mutual respect between the parties. Respect must lead to marriage and respect must be the guiding principle of the married life. Want of respect mars the ideal of marriage and obstructs its actual realisation. If, in marriage, the husband thinks that he is superior to his wife, and she inferior to him, that he is independent and the wife dependent on him.The ceremony closes with a hymn after which married couple bow down to the minister and elders and receive their blessing.understand and rate it

Rate = 1.5 (Rated by 2 Council Members)

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Response from: Lavanya Rowe,   
Registered Member on Ammas.com
Source: This information comes from my own knowledge.
Hi Considering the circumstances, the only alternative will be to have a 'temple wedding'.

It should involve changing of garlands, rings and tying the sacred thread, to the chant of mantras by the temple poojari

Later you can get the marriage registered.

Hey, whichever the way of wedding ultimately the married peaceful life that matters and not the ceremony itself. Good luck.

Rate = 2 (Rated by 2 Council Members)

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