Dear Ammas, I am 39 yrs old and been married for almost 8 years now and I have a 1 and a half year old baby girl.
I have been masturbating for almost 10 years now sometimes twice a week or once a week. This happens when I am alone, but I masturbate after watching Porn websites/moviees especially on watching blow job movies.
I am Hindu/Brahmin by religion, I feel teeribly guilty after this,..and I know this is considered as a Sin in our religion- Hindu/Brahmin.
I need your help on 1) how to control this habit 2) Is Masturbation considered as a sinful act in Hinduism.
Hi, This is a very genuine enquiry for those who are aspiring to control this habit and also for those who do it and lose their valuable time, energy and intelligence in order to pursue this.
I would first let u know that i m student of Bhagvat Gita- as it is and Srimad Bhagvatam from 7 years which are considered law books not only for Hndus but entire humanity. This is because the knowledge given in these books is on level of soul and religion is related to body. Also i m learning this from authorised bonafide spritual organisation ISKCON. Thus i won't be concocting anything on my own but wil try to present answer of your questoins in the light of this knowledge.
At first i'll try to answer your second question:
In 10th chapter of Bhagvat gita krishna says i m that sex which is done according to religious principle. Because mastrubution is a kind of sexual activity also as u r doing it after watching pornography which involves sins at everystep from making to showing and futher , you are very correct that it is sin and that there is no doubt in it as it is against religious principles. Also hinduism maintains purity in every aspect of life for a human being to live happy and responsible life. For this most important is purity of thought.watch thy thoughts it becomes action, watch thy action becomes to habit, watch thy habit it becomes character, watch thy character it becomes destiny.mastrubution contaminates the thinking process itself, not only for the period of the act being committed but also makes a person see all the women and activites in that direction. So mastrubution or any act in hinduism is considered sinful when it spoils your character and destroys your destiny to live a happy responsible life also making others suffer because of your own irresponsible behaviour. According to ayurveda which is also part of my studies mastrubution is unnatural and causes body to lose the vital energy source siemen.
now answer to your first questions which is conclusion, essence and practical application of Bhagvat gita: Gita teaches person to control the mind and senses,Also Krishna says this is process is like poison in begining but nector in the end, on other hand irreligion it may apparently seem to be nector but is certainly poison in the end. TO curb any bad thing two things are cultivated simultaneously i.e. negation of negative and cultivation of possitive. To negate this bad sinful habit please first be determined not to involve in it. dont involve in any other activity that will force you to do it as watching pornography. To now try to cultivate and engage yourself in good activities that will bring satisfaction, glory and virtue. If you have some people from ISKCON community around try to associate with them and learn the gospel of Bhagvat Gita, its practical application will not only curb this but others bad habits also. Because you are involved in going agaist religious principle, going in accordance with them for pleasure of God the creater of religion is the best activity. Also to control and purify the mind please try to chant the following mantra "Hare krishna hare krishna Krishna krishna hare hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare" daily atleast 108 times(it hardly takes 10 minutes). Chant and read books like Bhagvat Gita which will help you gain knowledge and become more determined to give up bad thoughts. Listen to discourses or kirtans that will subtly purify your mind and heart. Lastly but most important is please be sincere to know what is right and follow it.
Masturbation is not a sin. But watching porn is a sin. It is a sin because the people in porn are paid or forced (slaves) to have sex with each other. It is a very immoral thing.
Once you stop watching porn, you won't want to masturbate as much. It is the quickest way to control your mind.
Some people say they are addicted to porn. Personally, I feel that any man who WANTS to change can stop watching, but I am not a man, so I don't know. I do know that if you can't stop on your own, you can seek therapy for porn like any addiction.
2) Many people complain their religion prohibits masturbation (some Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, etc)...however, as long as masturbation isn't hurting anybody (unlike cheating on your wife, rape) it is not that bad. It is only bad if you want to stop but you are unable to and it is taking away your thoughts of other things in life, like your kid.
I wonder what your relationship with your wife is like? Does she have any idea what you're doing? Does she know you like the idea of blow jobs/do you share your fantasies? How is your sex life? Can you confide in her?
If you are being dishonest with your wife/hiding this from her than the lie is the sin more than the act itself.
If you need help be honest with her. It is her duty to help and support you through everything in life. I would advise you that what is most important is not the masturbation, it's getting the porn out of your life-- do you feel good thinking about your baby girl coming up in a world where she will know about porn and have to wonder whether her daddy enjoys it?
Good luck. Guilt isn't a productive emotion, but love is. For the love of your wife and your daughter, figure out a way to move on from this habit and enjoy your sexuality in more healthy ways. Or, if the guilt is part of the enjoyment, consider asking your wife to do some roleplaying or something. I know you may feel that is crazy, knowing your wife, but I think most wives would prefer honesty and openness from their husbands than shame and secrets.
Sexuality is a basic but most essential recognition that humans need other humans for survival and also that humans are capable of giving and receiving love and affection from birth to death. Sexuality is a complex phenomenon which involves interaction between one's (a) biological sex (b) core gender identity (c) gender identity and (d) gender role behaviour. From ancient times India belongs to Hinduism both in religion and as a culture. The famous Kama Sutra is the work of an Indian Hindu Saint- seeks not to repress sexuality, but to perfect it. By perfecting the act of divine sex, including masturbation, as seen depicted at the 10th century Hindu temple of Khajuraho, one clears the mind of earthly desires, leaving the soul on a higher level devoid of such worries, filled with bliss, and relaxed.
At the same time Yogis and Saints of Hinduism preaches to develop Self Control abilities. The ability to set up boundaries for the self. Self-control can be expanded into several different areas, ranging from respect to willpower. Self-control is therefore centered in the ability of a person to exert their will over the inhibitions of their body or self. People demonstrate great differences in their level of self-control. It can be affected because of illness and past experiences and it can be improved through the course of life through dedication and will power.
Masturbation - whether by a man or a woman, whether he/she is single or married - is normal. But in married life masturbation should not affect the joint sexual life. If your masturbation habit affects the married sexual life (partnership sexual life) then it is wrong for you. You have to decide if masturbation is ok with you and for the sexual satisfaction which is highly required in married life in order to concrete the relationship secure, sharing and the mutuality. Masturbation is definitely better than cheating. It is definitely not a sin. A lot of married men or women masturbate but they don’t admit out of embarrassment or for privacy, but they do and there is nothing wrong with it.
If you can indulge you in more spiritual deeds then you will be able to control masturbation. Indulge in more sex with your partner. Give yourself and your partner more sexual satisfaction in regular. Avoid loneliness. You masturbate because your body and mind need more sexual pleasure and its release than what you are getting from partnership sex. So this cannot be considered as immoral or as a sin or cheating your partner. But your act do not affect the perfection of mutual sexual life that highly required to maintain in married life.
Eat foods that strengthen your nervous system and do meditation to feel at peace with yourself. Try chanting omkara 108 times in the morning immediately after bath. Include almond, walnuts, white and black sesame (stir fried) in your diet. There is kamasutra in hinduism itself which indicates sex is to be enjoyed. However, do not degrade yourself to the extent of overejaculation of semen out of your body. Instead of controlling this habit, why do not you channelize your energy to pick up some hobby like glass painting? Masturbation is not a sin, but losing lots of semen is. Good luck
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