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Myself, my wife and daughter left India and came to a south pacific country for my job. Myself and my wife are divorcees and daughter is of my wife from her first marriage and I accept her as my own daughter. Our second marriage is just one year old. Coming to this new country was a joint decision. After landing here, within one month my wife started pressing me for leaving the job and the country and going back to India. She did not like the country, people and the culture, which is not like India. I wanted to give it a try and face it since the job has good financial saving potential. My wife resorted to all means viz., not allowing me to sleep for over 45 days, shouting at me at middle of the night, slapping me, throwing things, crying and screaming whenever I was home, not allowing me to go to work, calling me at office etc. Once she called my employer home and insulted me in front him and said things which we share in privacy. She also abused him. She called her lawyer in India to seek advise how to force me to return or file police case. She also threatened to visit Indian embassy here to force deportation. But I did not react to her. Finally she left with our daughter to India. She took cheques for a year from me in advance for about Rs.20,000 per month. Ever since I am staying alone for past over four months. I do not know cooking so I am dependent on outside food. She knows it. I am suffering from loneliness and food problems. It is affecting my mental and physical health. After reaching India she sends me e-mails almost daily and requests me to return. Initially she ignored me and wrote she was alone and enjoying herself with neighbourhood guyz. I am really confused and worried about my future ahead. I am 38 and a professional. Please guide me.
Regards,
MS
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I'm just writting this note because I'm pretty sick of this "this site is Indian only, don't bother if you are NOT Indian" attitude. I keep getting comments about "this is not in Indian culture" and such. Look, not everyone on here is INDIAN. There are lots of cultures around here. I know of a wonderful Russian advisor who married an Indian, I know of at least three other fellow Americans, one chinese advisor, and there are plenty of differences in general Indian culture as well.
The only reason I write is to shed some light in areas like spousal abuse, where if heaven forbid, one of us more progressive Ammas tell a poor woman who's husband is cheating, or who's husband is beating her- to leave, then we get some silly comments like, "why destroy her life by divorce?" or "Indians culture is against divorce". Dude! Don't you ever stop to think that the HUSBAND might be destroying her life, NOT a divorce?? There IS a life for women which might NOT involve abuse. A woman's only role in life is NOT to be a housewife and whipping post for her husband. Women are worth more than that and they deserve to have a satisfying, good life no matter what their personal choices are!
Another good one is the comment I got advising me not to tell people to visit the OBGYN for depression when pregnant, because drugs can harm the baby. Common, don't you think the DOCTOR would be aware if a drug would harm the fetus?? No good doctor would EVER prescribe a harmful drug to a pregnant woman, but there are PLENTY of drugs that can help in situations like depression. Let's see, which is more harmful, a good drug that helps out in depression, or a pregnant woman committing suicide because she thought, "this isn't Indian culture"?? Sometimes people act like Indian women are SUPPOSED to be miserable! Well I don't believe it for one second, and I'm sure most other people around here don't either.
Sorry I am venting, but I just had to say something. I am sick of being down-rated by silly advisors who think a woman is supposed to be barefoot, pregnant, and crying all the time. The same advisors who think that if the woman steps out of line it's ok for her husband to "give her a slap". The same advisor who considers her husband's many affairs to be "boys just being boys". Let's get REAL. Women are people too!
I have to add just one more thing: for every silly advisor I know there are a hundred more wise and mature advisors. Please don't take this little rant personally, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Thanks.
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Hi,
This is Viji, 27 yrs old. I'm married, and after marriage i'm facing lot of problems in life. Right now, my husband has gone to court, just bcoz of the torture of his mother. Though we both love each other, and wanted to live together, we couldn't. My parents are really worried about me.. My husband is the only son, and he is mother's pet.
Can anyone tell me, is there any sloga/pooja that i can do to overcome my difficulties.
Regards,
Viji.
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