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-- Geetha Gopakumar
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thank u
-- dd   11/16/04
 
thanks for the response, here is my full story, I desperately need some help, past history. my mom got cancer in the first yr of our marriage, so we went to india like 3/4 times and spend some time with her to console her. she expired after 1 1/2 yrs of cancer. I respect and adore my father very much. I respect him not b'coz he is my father but he does help many people and serves selflessly(out of all his brothers and sisters,9, he is the last one to built his own house). He is there whenever we needed him. I used to call him god many times. we are two sons, i brought my bro also here. The only thing which always kills my brain is why this is happening to my dad(my mom expired) when he did so many good things. Even now many relatives come to him for advice. My in-laws also helped my parents when my mom is taking cancer treatment. We are not typical money minded family. The problems starts: I think the root cause is same, for all problems, selfishness, jealous, money to our problems too. I am more attached to family sentiments than my wife. I used to tell my wife many things, like respect the elders and try to talk to friends etc. she is good but cant maintain relationships, whenever somebody talks sarcasm to her she wont take that as a joke. The main problem started The problem started when her father complaing about my father for petty things. she had a big quarrel at that time with me about that, I got frustrated and tried to convince her that my father wont do that. She did not agree with that, so I directly called my father and asked about it, for this my dad could not take blame and asked/requested me and my wife to confirm with him before she take any conclusion. I would say, this incident made a bad impression of my father-in-law. First of all, living so farther we did not tell our problems but in turn he is telling the problems. We are kind of settled and bought a new home also. I think my in-laws wants to get closer to us by lowering my parents. They even say my father killed my mom. whcih is absurd..this u can think how low they can go. Since then again couple of incidents again we came to know from in-laws,saying this and that. Actually my Mot died of cancer, so we went like 3/4 times to india, just to console her, in the process we did not spend much time with my in-laws. They think we are ignoring them. After my mom expired, and when we went to India there is big turn of events in our life. In the mean time my MIL is also having some health problems. She is also scared that she will also get cancer. wE are also scared very much. So, we are also following the treatment of her and calling to know the results of the reports. Reports came out negative. So we are kind of relieved. I came to the conclusion that my MIL is more pshycologically affected as she saw resent cancer deaths(my mom & her mom died with cancer). Treatment or report wise everything was normal. When we plan to go to India, my FIL did not want to come to even airport. I did not give that much importance to that. Even after that he is scolding my wife when we went to her place. I can write many things like this. Normal in our place this sort of problems will be faced by girls family. here it is opposite. Money wise as of today we tried to gave to both families. I never say no when my wife gives, but my wife says no whenever I try to give.
-- Your name   10/25/04
 
how do I send a reply to this query..I am sending a big reply but it is erroring
-- Your name   10/12/04
 
thanka for ur advise,but the case is not so simple,my hubbby does not want to help me come out of the fear,he always gets upset when i talk about it,is this just fear or some medical problem,are there other people who has the same problem.when evere we try to have sex,it hurts me so much,even if when we use lubricants,i try not to show him that i am in pain but my body starts shivering.i have consulted doctors,they want to meet my hubby and then want to talk further,please suggest me waht to do
-- resham   09/07/04
 
thanks for your geniune advice!!!
-- shwetha   09/05/04
 
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