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The Gate Way
-- Geetha Gopakumar
Ammas.com

Comments From My Users


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Thanks geetha.I am hving starting triuble.Thing is i dont have experience and i am scared.If i can find a job thats a start point i will be fine.My problem now is i took so long to realize this and now i have a son who is really young and needs my attention.Thats why i am worried.When he scolds i am thinking that he doesnt love me or to say even like me when i am really crazy about him.Why cant he advise me as a friend Do we force friend but we keep telling right.He gets dejected by my being quiet.I am listenng and want to do something now.I realise i have to help myself and nobody can help unless i am trying to move on.Its just that the fact that i know that he maried me because he was compelled makes me feel so bad and he doesnt express his affection either.So i am like putting thoughts and keeping myself unhappy.All the money he spent on me comes to his mind .He thinks he is taking real good care of me.He knows he is hurting me but he just cant stand me.He says that women of house should be happy for a family to florish.I accept that but how will i e happy if i am not shown all the affection i need.I have changed myself a lot and i want to be a good mom for my son,give the best to him .But sometimes i really feel my whole heart is empty and its not getting hurt anymore as it used to be.I have turned it into a rock.My personality has gone (how i used to be before marriage,Fun ,silly,jolly etc)I dont take care of myself etc.If we go out to our friends house where his wife is working when we come back home he is like really upset and thinks that i am a waste and starts advising me.I hate advising what can i do.I have to change myself .I dont know if i am having a real problem here but i just needed someone to talk to so i feel releived and clear.
-- padma   02/14/05
 
Thanks for your advice..a lot of what you said makes sense and I also was and still am of the same opinion.. I myself have been trying NOT to talk too much to him...but as such HE is talkative...and while talking..ends up talking many things that are hurtful to me..he does the same thing even with his Dad..I don't know why..he simply doesn't have any patience...just keeps snapping at me or his Dad abruptly... I am trying not to unnecesarily go and talk to him and keep myself busy with my work..and am enjoying every bit of it frankly..but he still comes and tries to initiate conversations..and the same process of talking rubbish repeats.. as far as telling him when he is relaxed is concerned..I have tried several times..but he is stuck to his opinions...all the time..he simply thinks he is right in the way he talks..and as if WE deserve it or something... all his conversations are only about how bad everyone is at his work..and other places..and how good he is...mainly work...I have again and again told him not to take things at work to heart..as whatever fights that take place at work that he describes to me, are all between other people and not between him and anyone.. but he just is too judgemental...and spends all his time in criticising others and me too..I am simply tired of listening to all this..I am just trying to keep to myself..and not talk to him too much..but what if he only tries to keep dragging me into conversations..?? then it becomes like a battle of wits..me trying to keep quiet and he trying to talk..who wins... you know one thing...these days..I enjoy my own company so much..I dont like to spend so much time with him..I work..so I always look forward to weekdays rather than weekends...funny..but true.. As far as me telling my parents is concerned..I dont think I do that...as such I never confided to my parents regarding anything right from my childhood..I tried couple of times..but it really didn't help me..I have learnt to be on my own since then...be it with my parents or my husband...more or less like a loner..I do have a lot of friends everywhere...but "I" am my best friend.. anyway..I just hope that some day my husband will realize..and get back into his senses...that is all I hope...
-- Kirti   02/14/05
 
The words in your advice reflects the care you have for an unknown person. Thank You so much for your care, understanding and kind advice ------ stone heart, India
-- lakshmi   01/28/05
 
Thanks Geeta for your concern. YOu know I tried everything. In the starting it was really worse but now it is little bettor with the efforts as told by you. God knows when he will understand my importance in the family. But I believe one day he will be mine. I will keep trying. thanks .......
-- sumita   01/28/05
 
thank u. i read your advice to me. it is true,we dont have patience.my hubby is a reserve type he wont speak much with others but says me whatever i did is not good, starts from cooking but others i cook good.once again i thank you.
-- x   01/25/05
 
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